Hunter Biden is facing another laptop-related disaster, only this time thousands of investors appear to have paid the price.
The former first son erupted online after his $LAPTOP meme coin soared to an absurd valuation and then collapsed almost as quickly as it arrived.
Biden blamed the chaos on the project’s market maker, claiming just $5,000 in liquidity was supplied when trading began Wednesday.
According to Biden, heavy demand overwhelmed that tiny pool within the first 30 seconds and sent the quoted price into fantasy land.
The token reportedly rocketed from $2.39 to $316 per coin, briefly producing a theoretical valuation larger than BlackRock.
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Biden admitted the chart resembled Mount Everest, although investors who bought near the summit quickly discovered that the trip down was far less scenic.
While ordinary buyers were getting scorched, one unidentified trader allegedly turned about $250,000 into $1.18 million within minutes.
Blockchain analysis from Datavault AI estimated the trader cleared roughly $930,000 before transaction costs, raising obvious questions about who benefited from the bizarre launch.
One crypto expert previously told The Post that such a sudden windfall resembled a classic rug pull signal.
Biden did not address the mystery trader’s enormous profit during his online tirade, apparently finding more time to defend himself than to discuss who walked away with the cash.
Blockchain analytics firm Bubblemaps estimated that about 80 percent of launch day buyers lost money.
More than 15,000 wallets reportedly finished in the red, a brutal outcome for traders who apparently believed attaching the Biden family name to a crypto project was somehow a sound investment strategy.
Datavault AI highlighted one especially painful transaction involving a buyer who invested roughly $200,000 near the token’s fleeting peak.
After the collapse, that position was reportedly worth around $2,000, turning a large investment into little more than an expensive digital souvenir.
Biden stressed that he had spent six months working closely on the project, including its token structure and presentation.
He accepted responsibility for the failed launch while insisting the underlying problem involved the market maker and the dangerously small amount of available liquidity.
Biden later claimed the team had stabilized the situation, saying, “They got it under control, but not before the damage was done.”
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The token’s continuing collapse and weak trading activity, however, offered little evidence that anything was truly under control.
Joni Zhuleku, cofounder and head of research at crypto investment firm Altcoin Pro, rejected Biden’s rosy assessment.
“The price is down 99% from its all-time high. So I don’t think they do have it under control,” he told The Post on Friday.
Zhuleku explained that market makers normally provide liquidity on both sides of a trade, helping limit extreme volatility and allowing more natural price discovery.
With only $5,000 available, even modest purchases could have produced enormous movements in the token’s displayed price.
“The damage has been done, so there’s really not much to control,” Zhuleku said.
He added that Biden’s explanation for the spectacular spike was plausible because such a shallow liquidity pool could be pushed around by transactions that would barely register in established markets.
“The quoted price is just the price of what the last trade went through the pool,” Zhuleku explained.
Unlike bitcoin, where a $10,000 purchase would have almost no impact, that same amount entering a pool backed by just $5,000 could send the displayed price soaring.
Biden vowed to remain involved and repair the mess, declaring, “I am in this to the end 100%, and I promise you is that we’re gonna make it right.”
He did not explain whether making things right would include compensating investors who bought tokens at wildly distorted prices.
Instead, Biden said the project would focus on increasing liquidity and trading volume.
He also insisted that he and his partners had “not made a single dollar,” pointing to a six month lock in period that supposedly prevents them from selling their holdings.
The controversy widened when an X account connected to the project’s foundation was suspended.
“Our foundation’s account is suspended,” Biden wrote Wednesday, before adding, “The foundation isn’t stepping away from $LAPTOP. We are working on getting the account fixed.”
That assurance may not comfort the thousands of investors nursing losses after the token’s spectacular implosion.
Hunter Biden says he plans to stay until the end, but for many buyers, the financial ending arrived within minutes of the launch.
