Author name: Josh Slocum

It’s hard to know just what to laugh at when it comes to the U.S. military–there are too many choices. What’s funnier, the woke ads featuring fat angry gender-confused non-binaries, or the reaction from the left when people notice the ads? Because boy, is the left very, very angry that not everyone believes that overweight women in their 20s who have a “gender” and a mental diagnosis are going to be able to keep the United States secure. 

Did you see this one? Just look at it. 

This is from a news show on CBN, the Christian Broadcasting Network. They’ve rounded up some of the “best” recruitment ads from recent years. Click here to jump to the one featuring a woman using little-baby-girl voice to tell everyone how special and important her “journey” is. See, she has two lesbian moms, and she’s been a “freedom fighter” for LGBT equality since she was a little girl. Bonus points if you make it all the way through before her affected cutesy voice causes you to launch a brick through the screen. 

Or how about this one? This Army recruitment ad is obviously aimed at Gen Z because it talks to them in the developmentally disabled tone they respond to. As the camera focuses on the close-up faces of young people (gotta appeal to that personal narcissism; esprit de corps is so out of fashion), they transform into bland computer-generated cartoon characters. 

Today’s U.S. Military cannot do its job. It can’t focus on protecting the nation because President Joe Biden is more concerned with forcing the service branches to pay for the sex-change surgeries that mentally ill “trans” service members call “lifesaving.” How the removal of genitals or the bolting-on of plastic breasts saves lives is not made clear. 

The Trump campaign knows this, and it’s banking on this ad to appeal to traditional, masculine (and necessary) notions of military bravery and hard-assery. He showed it at an October 9 rally – and has been showing it at all subsequent rallies since. It uses footage from Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece Full Metal Jacket to contrast a traditional drill sergeant with the prancing drag queens who put up videos of them dancing lasciviously while making reference to their status as service members. 

Give it a watch yourself – the audiences have been loving it:

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣#Trump played at his rally parts of FULL METAL JACKET.
I remember in the movie
👇🏻
Un-f*ck yourself or I will unscrew your head and sh*t down your neck!
See 2nd post for clip.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/FEYMMrC00v

— JUICY SCOOP (@MamaButterBean) October 10, 2024

Kubrick’s daughter, Vivian Kubrick, loves it. She said that even though her father’s movie had an anti-war message, it’s the perfect film to use because Trump himself is anti-war. But he knows the necessity of having a tough and manly military to keep the peace, Vivian Kubrick said, and her father would have voted for Trump. “Because I’m sure the irony of using FMJ footage is not lost on Trump or his team – Trump is always seeking to end wars and use peaceful methods. However, that’s primarily what FMJ is about, the shocking and complicated paradoxes of human nature,” she wrote in a lengthy post defending the video.

TO THOSE WHO THINK MY FATHER WOULDN’T HAVE WANTED #TRUMP TO USE FMJ FOOTAGE

Here are my thoughts: I agree in principle that an anti-war movie is incongruous with promoting the idea of a tough non-woke US military and thus war itself – however – these are very dangerous and… https://t.co/0bSXz8nL3V

— Vivian Kubrick (@ViKu1111) October 13, 2024

Let’s see what X (Twitter) users had to say. 

There’s always one pantywaist, though. 

Actually, there was more than one. Some sissy liberals are extremely unhappy and would like to complain to the manager. 

Lovely people, too. 

It’s the kind of story that calls up musical numbers like “Anything you can do, I can do better!” Or maybe the apocryphal quote from Ginger Rogers is more apt, the one about doing everything Fred Astaire did, but “backwards in heels.”

What kind of footwear was Commander Yvonne Gray wearing when she scuttled a $100 million New Zealand battleship? What, if anything, was she doing backward? 

The British lesbian (we’re assured this characteristic is super-very-important in military exercises) was on her first ship command at the helm of the HMNZS Manawanui when the vessel went down on Saturday October 5. The ship ran aground on a reef off the coast of Samoa and caught fire. The crew saw smoke that morning at about 6:30, and by 9 a.m. local time the Manawanui had slipped beneath the surface of the ocean. All of the 75 crew aboard were rescued. 

The New Zealand Navy has started an investigation, of course, but it will take time to figure out all the factors that went into the ship’s loss. 

Commander Gray is said to have been inexperienced, and many people are calling her a diversity hire. Now, there’s nothing about being a lesbian that automatically signals “unfit to command a ship.” But it is true that unqualified people have been placed in senior positions of government and corporations over the past several years because they ticked a diversity box: woman, gay, trans, not-white, etc. This is just plain true, and everyone knows it. 

Indeed, much hoopla was made about Gray’s ascension to command—she’s a former teacher whose dream was to open a restaurant—as a “queer woman.” Here’s just one example of the exuberant, gushing, and dare we say, feminine, praise of women in the New Zealand military simply because they are women. 

Even if the investigation determines that Commander Gray acted appropriately and was not responsible for the $100 million disaster, it’s not going to be possible to stop tongues wagging. People are so fed up with incompetent minorities being elevated to positions of power, while competent people are called “racist” and “bigoted” for pointing it out, that no one has any rational reason to trust investigations that find no fault. After all, these agencies and military branches are obviously hiring to fill diversity quotas; why would anyone believe a word they say? 

It’s already starting on social media. 

And some of it is funny as hell. 

Let’s see what others have to say. 

Sorry, but the old guy here is right. 

It’s amazing how closely modern life resembles parodies from 50 years ago. 

Family bands can go one of two ways. Generally, they’re very, very good, or they’re very, very embarrassing. 

Take the Von Trapp family made famous in The Sound of Music. The film has loomed so large that many people, especially younger ones, have forgotten, or never knew, that this was a real family. They did escape from Austria to evade the Nazis, and they came to America where they performed as a touring music group until 1957. As your faithful correspondent writes this, many of them are making their living just up the road from this writer’s house in Vermont. In fact, I sold my last house through the Von Trapp realty firm. 

Or take the Petersen family, a modern American family musical group. They’re not only technically good (skilled vocals, sweet and close harmonies) enough to sell out Branson, Missouri, for years, but they’re generally well-liked. Why? First, because they’re good, but second, because they sing songs with universal themes. They cover well-known hits that speak of love, despair, disappointment and triumph. In a word, they don’t beat listeners over the head with partisan politics. 

But then there are family singing groups like the Marsh Family from the UK. It’s not that they’re technically bad, although the track you’re going to hear below has a corny synthesized musical accompaniment. They can sing well enough. 

It’s what they sing. Here’s a sample, sung by Matriarch Marsh:

♫He’s got convictions-he did the nasty

And undermined the cons-ti-too-shee-un

Yes. Really. When you have to add an extra syllable to “constitution” to make it fit the melodic meter, you may be too focused on partisan politics and not enough making good music. 

There’s more. These very white Brits sound like they’re trying to get a favored spot under Kam Kam’s coconut tree by singing in a faux-Jamaican accent and style. Here’s another line, but you really have to hear it to take in the full horror. 

♫Give me hope Kamala

Hope Kamala

Gimme hope Kamala for the election

Listen and weep:

What motivates a British family to be-clown itself this way over an American presidential candidate? One wonders if the Marshes are enjoying their illegal alien invasion, too, and all the cultural enrichment happening at knifepoint on England’s streets. 

Let’s see what Twitter has to say. 

Well, if they’re like American liberals, they could tour hurricane-ravaged North Carolina and they’d probably just make fun of the dumb, starving hicks like American leftists are doing. 

Looks like somebody noticed something!

Though it took the media several suspicious days to notice, most Americans now know that huge portions of the southeast have been destroyed by Hurricane Helene. Television shows us dramatic images of the wind destruction, but it’s the water that can truly destroy towns and cities. 

This storm was one of the worst to hit the American south in decades. Even places far in-land, such as Western North Carolina, took the kind of direct hit that most of us associate with living right on the ocean. Whole towns in the foothills of mountains have been wiped off the map. The rain dump was so fast and furious that even mountainside dwellers—the lucky ones—are stuck behind impassable downed trees and roads that don’t exist anymore. 

The woman who wants to be our next President sprang into action. From her flying office, Kamala Harris let scared Americans know she was on the job by sharing a picture of her airliner suite. Here she is “taking notes” on what appears to be blank paper, while “listening to a phone call” while her earbuds are not plugged in to the phone. 

On October 2, Harris made a stop in hurricane-ravaged Augusta, Georgia, to announce the federal government’s generosity. Every person with an immediate need can get up to—wait for it—$750. That’s right, a whole $750. What can you get with that? Not much. It’s not enough to replace all four brakes on the average car. It’s less than one month’s rent in most areas for a studio-efficiency apartment. 

Funny how illegal border crossers—criminals by definition—get a whole lot more just for showing up. They don’t even have to lose their home, they don’t have to be sitting on a tree stump praying that a rescue truck can get up the mountain. All they have to do is break into the country, and New York City, for example, will give them a loaded debit card with twice the money that Americans in New York get for monthly food stamps. 

As you would expect, social media users were a bit put off. 

Remember the devastating Lahaina wildfire that killed hundreds in Hawaii? The internet does. 

Remember when a freight train derailed in Ohio and sent a plume of toxic gas into the air, and nobody from the White House bothered to show up or say anything for weeks? The internet does. 

User Markus puts the $750 “government money” (it’s your tax dollars) in perspective:

Well, quite. 

Many Americans are generally sympathetic to what unions claim they stand for, honest pay for honest work. Even though they lean in different directions on unions, both liberals and conservatives can imagine scenarios where corporate power gets out of control and becomes exploitative, and it needs to be met with an opposing force.

But it’s a lot harder for most of us to sympathize with union bosses and the corrupt way in which they operate. As the nation sits through the first day of a Longshoreman’s union strike—47,000 dock and port workers on the east coast—that could cripple the supply chain worse than the government-bungled pandemic response, the head of the union is raising eyebrows.

Harold Daggett is the president of the International Longshoremen’s Association (the striking union). He sat down in front of a camera and delivered a list of dire consequences to other industries and his fellow Americans if the union’s demands aren’t met. Auto dealers out of cars? Too bad. President screaming at my guys to go back to work? Too bad. “I will cripple you,” Daggett said, looking and sounding like a movie mafioso, down to the vulgar gold chain.

Listen for yourself:

It gets better. Turns out—surprise!—Daggett has a past.

Daggett makes almost a million dollars a year, owns multiple yachts, and drives a Bentley. To be fair, union bosses aren’t asked to take a vow of poverty, as disproportionate as such compensation might seem.

But what about the fact that he’s been charged with racketeering by the Department of Justice (he beat both cases)? What about the fact that one of his co-defendants was found rotting in a car during the trial?

Seems a little harder to sympathize with him knowing that. Let’s see what X users had to say.

Why not start with Space Daddy and X owner Elon Musk?