A lot of us remember arguing with our parents over college majors. If we wanted to get an arts degree, many of our dads said something like, “You can take whatever you want, but I’m not paying for a diploma that won’t get you a real job.” If the kids in the video below are any indication, America’s moms and dads have lowered their standards.
The epic X/Twitter account End Wokeness posted this social media compilation of today’s youth in New York City gabbing excitedly about their college majors – none of which can be considered real majors.
Remember that old joke about majoring in underwater basket weaving? Oh, it’s far worse today. Here are some of the majors these young people rattled off with surprising pride:
- The Performance of Self
- Creative Production and Narrative Through the Arts
- The Sociology of Environmental Communication
- Music, Business, and Gender Studies
“The Performance of Self?” Might be more honestly labeled “How To Turn Narcissistic Personality Disorder Into Fun and Profit!”
Most of the alleged majors sound as though they were made up on the spot during a street game of Mad Libs, but student Dominique’s “Care Studies” major has to take top prize. What students are to care for or about is left unclear, but her minor of “Disability Studies” might give a clue.
You’ll have to watch the whole thing to get the complete list, and we warn you, gird your loins if you are sensitive to valley girl accents. To a man and woman, each matriculant talks like and extra from “Heathers”. Every statement goes up at the end making it sound like a question?
Naturally, X users had some unkind-but-true things to say. Joe Nicosia expects to see these bright youngsters at Starbucks:
Savannah Hernandez correctly identifies this cohort as our whiners-in-waiting:
Steven Miller thinks there’s a bit of hope for them beyond barista-hood:
Jokes aside, this kind of “education” is no laughing matter for grownups who’d like to see first-world society continue. User Paul A. Szypula has the right of it:
What’s your favorite made-up major? Tell us in the comments!
